Krishna :(

Krishna please please please.. I just don’t know what to say…I feel miserable right now.. I hate everything here. Why is this happening to me? I try to show I am okay on the outside but inside me there is just emptiness. I need you very badly Krishna. Ooh why am I so sensitive? Every slightest thing is hurting me now a days. I need you so badly Krishna. I am losing myself in this world. And I feel I am losing you too… Krishna please do something. I try to be friendly and nice but why everything turns against me? I hurt one of your devotee yesterday unknowingly... She did not mind it but I felt so bad later. I swear I did not mean to hurt her but it just happened... I end up hurting people even though I don’t mean to. And today, for some reason whatsoever some people are just ignoring me. Kanha tell me whats my fault. What did I do? I have always tried to be friendly with everyone. But what do I do if some people just stop speaking and they don’t even smile when I smile at them. They were so friendly before and now they don’t even talk.  And I am left wondering what did I even do to deserve that behavior? I have started hating myself and now I am scared if you will also hate me because of my mistakes. I am sorry I am ranting here... what can I do??  I just need to get this out or else I feel miserable all day.

Who else can I tell my pain other than you? But u don’t respond and that is only making things worse. A kind devotee put a comment in my previous post but it was in Russian and I could not understand. I translated to read it and though I could understand most of it even though the translation was not perfect, still there were some lines n words that did not get translated. I badly wanted to read the whole thing, each and every word of it... because it was really very much helpful whatever I read and I was really feeling better but I could not because it was not getting translated. You are preventing me from reading that too Krishna!!! WHY!!!????

Krishna why is everything hurting me? Am I overacting? Am I making a mountain out of molehill? I am just miserable and I need you so much right now Krishna. But all I hear is silence and I am left here all alone...