Thank you Krishna :)

Krishna, these days it has been tough for me. Well you already know what is going on in my life but whatever Lord; I must say that I am blessed. You have gifted me with something very valuable and that is devotion to your Lotus feet. Well I know I am far away from being a pure devotee as yet but still I know I love you a lot.

Krishna I want to apologize first of all because I know that I keep committing a lot of mistakes. Most of them knowingly and yet you forgive me each and every time. I am trying to overcome some of the bad qualities but you know my mind sometimes just does not listen. Oh it's so hard. But I can definitely see myself improving when I look back for a period of time and hence I think you are guiding me. Krishna I am really fortunate to have got this understanding that the ultimate duty of the mankind is to serve you and break this cycle of birth and death and by your grace I was attracted to you and fell in love with you. I know it was possible only through your mercy. I am so thankful that you decided to shower your grace on a fallen soul like me.

Kanha you are the only one who is worth anything in this world. No matter how fallen someone you are always present to forgive them, lead them and protect them. No words can describe your mercy. Krishna my eyes are longing to see your beautiful face. Whats the worth of these eyes if they don’t see you. Krishna, I know for some reason and for my own good you have decided not to give me the vision of your enchanting form for now. But I am longing for the day you decide to give it to me. But anyways for now I want to say thank you soooooo much Krishna for the several blessings you have showered on me. I am ever grateful for  everything you have done for me and I love you a lot. Thanks a lot Krishna. I am yours forever:)

Nagumomu Ganaleni..Bereft of your smile...

Nagumomu

Ragam: Abheri (22 karaharapriya janya)

Aa: S G2 M1 P N2 S
Av: S N2 D2 P M1 G2 R2 S

Talam: Adi Tyagaraja Pallavi:

Nagumomu Ganaleni Naajaali Telisi

Nannu Brova Raa Raadaa ?

Sri Raghuvara! Ni

Anupallavi: Nagaraajadhara! Nidu Parivaarulella

 Ogi Bodhana Jesevaaralu Gare Yatulundadura Ni

Charanam: Khagaraaju Niyaanativini Vega Chanaledo ?

 Gaganaanikilagu Bahu Durambani Naado Jagamele Paramaatma!

 Evarito Moralidudu

 Vagajupagu Taalanu Nannelukora Tyagarajanutani

 MEANING:

O Rama! Supreme among Raghus! Missing your charming smile-lit face I languish here.

Knowing my mental plight, cant you come and protect me?

 O One who holds Govardhana hill! Members of your retinue who have the duty of reminding you of your daily engagements cannot fail in their duty.

 Does not Garuda execute your commands expeditiously? Could he have excused himself saying that he was staying far from the earth in Vaikunta, your heavenly abode? Exalted Lord! Ruler of the Universe! Whom else can I appeal to? Please shun disregard. I can’t bear it. Take me into your fold.

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Oh Lord this is exactly how I feel right now. Each and every word. I feel it. Krishna you are the ultimate person who can be approached and yet if you shun us who will take care of us. Whom do we approach. Ultimately, it’s you on whom everyone can depend on. Please protect us Krishna. You have always been there for your devotees. We are orphaned here. Being separated from you we are lost in this material world. Each and every one of us need you Krishna. 

Please lead us back to your supreme abode oh Lord and liberate us from the shackles of this material world. 

Please come soon Krishna

Krishna why should things be this way???  Krishna look where I am stuck. I feel so completely helpless in this world. Nothing… Just nothing is making me happy. And you are the one and only person out here who can give me what I want and yet you are silent… Why Kanha why??? Oh why did I come to this world??? Krishna was I with you in the beginning? Why did you put me here Kanha? Or did I desire to leave you and come to this material world? Was I such a fool that I chose this material world and its temporary and false pleasures over you? Didn’t you try to stop me Kanha? Or is it that you did and I was so stubborn that I did not listen to you???

Whatever!!! I just feel trapped in this world. I need to get back to you. But here I am being constantly tortured. I don’t want to be here Krishna. When are you going to come??? I am losing patience Kanha I can’t bear this world anymore. I need you and only you. Not able to see you and not able to hear your voice I am just suffering oh Krishna. Every day I wait and I am still waiting. When are you going to end this Krishna. Please don’t do this. Please stop being stone hearted. Pleeeeeeeease!!!  Kanha I cant take this anymore. Please please please come soon :(

Krishna we need you...

Krishna is there really something called as free will? I really don’t know. And I don’t think so. Because when I look at my life, right now whatever is going on and whatever has happened in the past, everything seems to be happening in the manner I least expected. Krishna, I am ignorant of the spiritual knowledge. I don’t have much knowledge about scriptures either. Well I know, I am not qualified enough to understand them too. And even a little bit of what I know, I am not able to apply the same in my life.

Krishna it is so hard. I just feel so disheartened sometimes. Mind is so difficult to control. I lose hope almost every day but there is something about you that I don’t give up trying either. There are days especially when I am at home that I constantly think of you but once I am drowned in worldly matters, job etc I completely forget you. As a result I am stressed, tensed and I am always trying to control the situations and that only adds to the stress. Krishna why have you made yourself so hard to obtain. When Arjuna was in distress you personally spoke to him and showed him the right way. How I wish you were personally present here to tell me - "look this is right and this is wrong" because almost every day I am faced with several situations where I don’t know what to do. I miss you so much those times Krishna and I yearn for you. I wish you would speak to me and guide me on what is right and wrong but no… I am left to decide all alone.

Krishna they say you are always there to guide us. But why don’t I hear you? I speak to you, I beg for answers but still I don’t hear you or see you. Forget real life. It’s so hard to see you even in dreams. Krishna I don’t know how to be detached from worldly matters. All your instructions in Bhagvad Gita they seem so easy but they are so tough, so difficult to follow. Ultimately you ask us to surrender to you. Seems easy? Yes.. But is it really that easy? Krishna, I have to admit this, I am so poor at knowledge I don’t even know what is meant by surrender. I don’t even know how to do it.

All I know is Krishna, I need you. I feel stuck. All I want is to just be with you and serve you always. But in this world everything is just pulling me away from you. The more I try to reach you the more and more difficult it is getting. Krishna I really need you to guide me. I can’t do this alone. I really can’t!! And please, I am sure there are a lot of people who need you right now. I know some are even shedding tears for you every day. I can feel their pain of separation from you. It’s very depressing Krishna.  Krishna don’t be so indifferent. You do understand what we are going through. Don’t you? Then why are you still silent Kanha. Please bless them with your merciful glance. Please bless them with your divine grace. Lead them. Comfort them. Who else will save us from the worldly pangs if not you? 

We are completely dependent on you Krishna. Please please liberate us from this suffering. Please help us Krishna. They say you are an ocean of mercy. All I am begging for is a 'drop' of your mercy. We need you Krishna. Please help us.

Stressed, Depressed...

Krishna,

Why did u let this happen? I thought I would start my blog on a positive note but now it is starting with a negative note. I am sorry but I am not able to start it with a positive note. Because all that happened today was negative. 

I am really surprised Krishna if your creation can be this way. I mean why the people have become so heartless. They don't even know how to give respect. I am just hurt today. I am now really confused as to if it was my fault or my colleague's fault. Whatever I don't blame him. Because I know people have their own problems and obviously they are going to put themselves first. I am a human and I too do that but why don’t they respect each other at-least while speaking. A point can be delivered in a nice way as well as in a not so nice way. Why don’t people try to be more polite in their words and actions and respect others feelings too. At least me and my colleague, we sorted it out and I am thankful for that. Well Krishna you have been a witness to all that happened today. And I truly believe you do understand what I feel and I know you will be there for me always. Time will heal everything. I am hurt today but I guess it will only make me stronger.

Krishna I miss you so much. How I wish you were here with me and I could just cry in your arms. Honestly Krishna I don’t see any point in this life. All our lives we are hankering after material stuff, money and in the end we die and we lose everything. Krishna, no matter what I undergo no matter what happens I just hope I don’t lose my humanity at any cost. This world is a place of misery and no one can expect permanent happiness here. All I ask is in any circumstances that I come across, let me not lose my cool keeping in mind that it’s your will and it is for my ultimate benefit. I trust you Krishna and no matter whoever hurts me, give me the mind to accept everything calmly and never have hard feelings for anyone.  People may or may not understand but at least you do understand don’t you? And that’s more than enough for me, that you will always be there for me.

I love you Krishna.
Jai Shri Radha Krishna!!