Okay folks.. I dont know why I came back here. By the way this is just gonna be a random rant right now and i don't even know what i am typing anymore and i don't care if anyone reads or what they think coz people like me are always labelled mad so if there are any mad people out there madly in love with Krishna like me then… you understand. Even if no one does. I don't care.
So its been over 10 years i guess since i posted here and yeah i fell out of love with Lord Krishna or so i thought until this madness comes back gatecrashing after 10 years and unexpectedly and here i am back to this site that i had almost forgotten because i cant find any place else where i can express my feelings without being labelled as mad. Yeah.. i am an idiot who still cares what my family thinks of me.. this time the affliction of love is so severe that i get headache my body aches i cry for no reason.. i am singing and the song reminds me of him and i cry right-in middle of music class and i have to stifle my tears and act civilised.. how does this boy even do this.. this.. this.. Blue god. I have not met him i have not seen him yet he paralyses and plays with my senses like this !! Are you kidding me!!
I know you all r gonna call it hormones and ask me to get a full body check up like doctors do to meet their corporate targets..you are gonna ask me if i am having an early onset menopause or i am on my periods. No! Absolutely not!! You all have forgotten hormones is a symptom not a cause. I know whats happening in my mind and how that player boy continues to play his games without even being physically present. Back then i had people to speak to!!! There was this thing called Google plus I had a few other mad friends who understood my plight but now i lost touch with them and they have moved on. But i am back here coz now he is giving me a headache and i need to put my frustration out unfiltered!
Krishna what have you done to me!!! Really what have you done!! Why have you done this to me! Why had this obsession returned with twofold force! What am i supposed to do with this? Like stop playing these invisible games with me and at least show yourself to me! Nah! U don't want to do that. Always hiding. Hide and seek is your favourite game. You are the one who always hides and we are the ones who always seek. Thats why we are called seekers i guess. Except that this frustrating game never ends. Stop it Krishna! Just stop it. You have played enough! How far will you continue to do this? What do you think of me! How am i supposed to function in this world if you stall my senses like this!! Are you going to answer??? Or are you going to just continue your games!!! Why am i even asking when the answer is obvious!! Sigh!.. i am ruined…
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